Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Forever be Always

She can remember the way the wind blew that day.  A comforting chill met with the soothing afterglow of the sun's rays.  The moment she had goosebumps it was washed away with the warm antipation of his touch.  A touch she hadn't ever experienced, though their previous tantalizing dialogue gave her much to look forward to.  And she did.

She knew the moment she saw him in real life, the moment she caught a glimpse of him appear beyond the automatic sliding doors, that she really liked him.  He quickly retreated from sight and began again, walking along the airport pavement.  Could he be nervous?  It was an admirable thing too, because so was she.  And if he were nervous, that means he liked her too.  The months of back & forth written conversation had swooped her up like a pleasant tornado.  Whirling and whipping her through the many possibilities of endless love and passionate elation.

Her clammy hands gripped her luggage, as she exhaled one last time before being greeted with the sun.  It wasn't until she turned her head left, that she saw the insouciant man sitting before her with a bouquet of smiling roses, one rose with a celestial charm.

The two strangers grinned at each other with a koi sense of familiarity.  The sense that they've been incessantly pondering over the other from the moment the seed of intrigue was planted.  She was ready to unload nearly sixteen weeks of lust.
Sixteen weeks of intimate, persuading words.
Sixteen weeks of wondering if this could turn into something substancial.
Sixteen weeks of feeling completely weightless.
Sixteen weeks of marinating in sexual anticipation.

And there they were.  Moving closer and closer to each other.  The closest they've ever been, but not the closest they'll ever get. 

She recognized something in herself that day.  In contempt of previous heartbreaks, the Hopeless Romantic in her had still survived.  She had been trying to deny falling for someone whom she'd never physically met before, but laying there under the spinning ceiling fan with her knees to the sky, she was unable to deny any longer.  It was already there, and it had already blossomed.

She loved him.

It had been a gradual ascension, from the way he laced his words together whilst describing his love for garlic, to the electricity in how he held her when they kissed.  It was everything and it was everywhere.  The way his hair fell unfastidiously, the slow calming motion in which smoke left his lips, even the simplicity of him asking her to choose a record.  He had the sly wisdom of a Buddhist Monk and the sexual aptitude of a Tantric Master. 
She was more than charmed by him, and she was pretty certain he was sweet on her as well.  The look in his eyes never suggested anything less than the innoucous love she had always longed for.

They let each other in during those ten days they spent together.  A week and a half designated to momentous sex, glorious food, and the shared love for marijuana, video games, vinyl records, cartoons & "The Three Stooges".  It was an experience she found to be beyond blissful.
The time continued, some weeks and some months spent apart in preparation for their eager future together.  The distance proved worthy when he picked her up from the airport for the last time.      ....  For the most part, for the last time...

...such was life for the once strangers turned star-gazed lovers.  The days were spent yearning for the other, the thoughtless nights spent in each others arms, sprawled in sexual oasis, drinking wines, eating delicious fruits and indulging in succulent meats. Their very own naked paradise.
And it remained this way year after year, with little turbulence.  Trips up and down the vast California mountain, ripples across the gentle Catalina sea, summer nights in impossible Philadelphia heat, drunken Arkansas evenings, and beaming with stupor at the stars spilled over the Nevada night sky.
Their time spent together was fructiferous and profuse with affection, even during arid stages, the matter of love was never questioned.
The habitual throes of any romantic relationship took place, but they each found solace in the warmth of each other's company, further proving to one another that their love was evolving.  Beyond being copacetic, they were reconnecting in a way they hadn't in longer than both of them wanted to admit.        
She recognizes how they both can get stuck in their heads, a skull of indifference and complex obstacles, and she is always grateful when he rescues her from her own self-doubt.  So when he needs her to do the same, she will not falter in rescuing him like he has for her times before.
She'll tell him that she still falls for him every single day.  And that if a single kiss could translate her love for him, they'd be kissing for an eternity.  She would remind him of the way he can still fascinate her by pointing out constellations in the dark indigo sky. The way he can still make her feel precious by baby-talking in half words and sentences.  The way he can still make her blush after groping her in public.  The way she can feel him get high when he breaths deeply from her skin.  The way her heart whispers when he cuddles up to her.  The way he exposed her to sushi!  The way he got her a stepping stool, but she secretly still wants him to get things for her anyway...

The way he will forever be her always. <3 <3 <3

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Rainy Day In L.A.

The sun tries to come out, breaking free through the clouds.

Tiny rays shouting, wanting to be heard, aloud. 

Earth getting flooded. It's been so long.

The wonderful beloved rain has fell, from our song.

Our dance, our cries, our sweat, our tears.

The rain left the skies like it hadn't left in years. 

Falling with such suspense, smiling all the way down.

Giving my skin a rinse, before settling on the ground.

Inspiration flows when it's a rainy day in L.A.

And the stars know it's also much too rare to sleep it away.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Jasmine-Tealed Void


Fill the void. 
It's been some time since it were full.
Abrupt asteroid.
Conqured by division - push and pull.

I've found a home here.
Here in this desert valley.
Through darkness it's clear.
Jasmine tealed auras in Cali. 

Spread the colors from coast to coast.
If you believe it to be so.
Filling the void is much to boast.
When you're way farther than "Go!"

Time, You Killjoy

Oh how the time flies...

I won't even begin to make excuses for myself as to why I haven't been updating and writing more. Just know that I've been busy as all hell, cashing in that mulah. Making pretty big bucks* The inspirado is creeping into my system. I've been feeling more and more like writing and with the arrival of my little brother in a couple weeks, my rhyming game is going to have to be in tip top shape. Ha! I mean, let's face it, it always is, but everything needs a little polishing every now & then.

As I sharpen the tool that is my brain, I suck down a very deep breath filled with Blue Dream Sativa, and am overwhelmed by the sense that everything will be okay. All the recordings, the filming, the writing, the sleeping, and the plan making--it'll all happen in its own time.
Maybe I needed a hiatus to generate the inspiration I have acquired.

Time, time, time...

Time will certainly tell, won't it?

*By my standards, at least.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Loud Pack E.M.P. - State Of Mind

My Philly trip was a successful venture. Got to do some recordings for
my side hustle Loud Pack E.M.P., made it onto the Mixtape "8th of Loud"
and even got a chance to be featured in my little brother's mixtape and
video! Below is the video for "State of Mind".

Rhyming words is fun.

Be sure to check out the Loud Pack page. Like and share our shit. Tank Q!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Got Sex?

Just in time for the holidaze..

A very exclusive sneak peek of my 
Relationship Advice / Sex  Blog!

Fun, dirty, & creative coming soon to a computer screen near you.

hang onto your butts...

Sugar-coated Bullshit

The funny thing about bullshit is that when someone is called out on it, THEY are the ones that're offended. How does that work? You tried to essentially lie to me, and I exposed your "facts" as folly, and you are the one that's taken back?! Can you please explain to me how? 

It all comes down to this; these Bullshitters, are displeased with the fact that you're intelligence level is higher than theirs and you were able to see through the transparent lie/story/what-have-you that they told. So then what happens is, they go into defense mode and attempt to continue the foolery by actually believing their own lie or story. This way they can "act" realistic. But the part that said Bullshitter isn't calculating, is that people like myself are also highly intuitive. 

I may smile politely or nod along to keep the conversation going, especially with new Bullshitters that I've just met. I like to get a feel for people, and the extent of their bullshit, before continuing on. And that's not to say that I just assume everyone is bullshitting me. You can feel it. There's an energy there. Sometimes it isn't that they're bullshitting others, but actually bullshitting themselves as well. 
Those are the professionals because they've been consumed by their bullshit and believe it thoroughly.  These sort of people generally have bad juju around them, and that's not to say that they're bad people, they just unconsciously deny themselves the chance of a freer life because they can't face the truth. Whatever the truth may be. No matter how deep it may be. Usually involving insecurities of their own that they project in various "smoke & mirrors" sort of way.

These sort of people dislike people such as myself because, while I still don't have it all figured out, I do at the very least, know myself outstandingly well. And they're envious of such an accomplishment. It takes much time and introspection to learn oneself, and it isn't always easy figuring out and/or facing the truth about the way you are or think.

Staying optimistic is always the best option, although being bitter and sarcastic has it's comedic relief too. I just try to stay away from these Bullshitters that cloud my energy. They're also capable of stealing your energy, should you let them.  And that's a tricky feat in itself.

Ever feel great one moment and after an experience with another person, you feel drained and dehydrated? It could very well be a simple conversation, about simple things or simple people--but you walk away from it feeling empty and confused. What caused that? What was that?

 The Bullshitters are offended that you don't buy their product, and the Non-Bullshitters are offended that you'd try to sell them a crappy, non-authentic product. That's bad salesmanship.
You should be honest and real as often as you can, even in professional settings. Now, please don't be mistaken, I'm not suggesting that you should be disrespectful, I'm saying that you should 100% of the time be real to YOU. That means politely questioning things, even superiors. Since when has that been illegal? That means speaking up when something or someone is unjust. You'd want someone to speak up for you. That means being fair, even if that means you don't get the reward. Because the reward IS being fair. At least it should be.

I know I went on a tangent but it's all relative. People create these facades--these masks to wear in public, to get others to accept them,  to blend in, etc., and they wear these masks for so long that they very rarely ever take them off. So when faced with someone who doesn't have those issues comes about, I swear, the Bullshitters just shut down or they bullshit even more!  And a person like me gets labeled as what? Having an attitude problem, being offensive, not "staying in my place", abrasive, rebellious, angsty, indifferent? If you can't be real with someone you're supposed to be engaging with, a natural exchange--not necessarily swapping life stories--although there's nothing wrong with that. Being personal is one of the best things you can be. A helluva lot better than being a bullshitter, you should take a serious look at yourself and what's holding you back from just being you. And you should let those insecurities go.

No one should be a prisoner inside themselves.

And that's what you bullshitters are.

Little prisoners that drag everyone else into your dark, damp, hollow cell that you call your personality.