Back To The Drawing Board

When love serves you lemons? Do you say fuck the lemons and bail??

My problem is, I love lemonade. Both bitter and sweet, and I can make each taste comfortably delicious, while numbing the throat and vocal chords. Also paralyzing the brain. This, of course, makes putting up with the love served lemons more tolerable and adds an extra --insert time frame here-- to your relationship. Sometimes the added time proves itself to be useful, but in unfortunate cases, it only proves to be dreadful, drawn out and asinine.

I haven't reached the point of conclusion, where I figure out which case my current situation is headed for. Objection and I move to strike! Even though I have quite a clue to which track I'm pulling up in, denial and defeat inevitably has stalled me for a hot second. I'm sure curiosity has a little to do with some things also. Mixed with various amounts of stupidity and denseness. But, so be it.

Afterall, I've already been through much, much worse.

stone hearts don't bleed

Septa/Dick Connection

You can also view this very article on the other blog I write for Philly Neighbor. They're kickass!

I've never pretended to be mature. Okay, well maybe once or twice when it really "counted" but I've always been rather pleased with the fact that I haven't grown up fully. Farts still make me blush and giggle. 'That's what he/she said' STILL comes out of my mouth at least 3-5 times daily. None of that will ever change for me. And I wouldn't want it to.

I'd like to consider myself a 13 year old boy, if you will. Sexual innuendos constantly flooding my mind as if the New Orlean's levies were the force attempting to hold my inappropriate thoughts back. (But of course, inevitably failing.) I'm not sure what it is, but I can't ever escape the thoughts of random scenarios or sexual thought provoking curiosity. Maybe it's the artist in me, and for all intensive purposes--I'm going to go ahead and say that IS why...

So I'm on Septa, I people watch, I listen to snippets of conversations and give different people my own little stories about their lives. Normal basic stuff right? Possibly. One other thing my chaotic mind does is directly picture any person, (mainly women), holding onto a pole, to that being the shape their hand makes when they hold and/or stroke a dick. Reread the sentence & return. Strange right?

I find it pretty funny. Next time you're on a bus or the el train, take a gander for yourself. It's quite entertaining. There's no other way to fully understand my immature antics unless you yourself have a healthy immature way of thinking. Mixed in with some seedy sexual deviance also. Gotta throw that in there. Or else, you'd never get to the cock-holding/pole grabbing concept, I myself have arrived at.

All I'm asking is for you to give it a looksy. That's all I'm saying. It's completely identical! I've even tested this theory on myself. Held a pole for safety, as to not bounce around all over the place, and thought, "Yep--that's what my hand looks like when I'm holding a tallywhacker." ::smirks::

Even for whatever stupid, grown-up reason, you can't relate to the pole/dick connection, just you thinking of this article while on Septa makes me the winner... and I guess a little pervy.

So there, a brief visit inside the mind of an overgrown child with an over active sexual appetite to match. But sometimes.. I'm just bored. Who can control where their mind goes??

Land O'Confusion

"If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius"

--larry leissner

Top 10 Gobble Films

There's no other way to kick this off; I'm a holiday lover! The type of person that begins spreading "holiday cheer" early. And by "holiday cheer" I mean, holiday music. And by 'early' I mean, right after Thanksgiving. Yeah, I'm one of those. So in height of the wonderful and glorious Thanksgiving holiday about to take place in two weeks, I've decided to post my top ten favorite Thanksgiving themed-esque films. Some are classics that you're familiar with and others, maybe not. This is in no particular order, but enjoy nonetheless.

1. Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)

CA-LASS-SIC!!

2. Home For The Holidays (1995)

Jodie Foster's directorial debut, Robert Downey Jr & Claire Danes--who couldn't love it?

3. Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)

Steve Martin & John Candy, need I say more?

4. Hannah & Her Sisters (1986)

Woody Allen fans would have to applaud this Thanksgiving favorite.

5. The House Of Yes (1997)

If you like Parker Posey, you'll love this Sundance Film Festival smash hit.

6. The Ice Storm (1997)

This cast is chock full of stars, before they were stars, from Tobey Maguire to Sigourney Weaver & Joan Allen.

7. Pieces Of April (2003)

Katie Holmes is good in this quirky indie drama, it really shows how comical one family disaster can be on Thanksgiving.

8. Thanksgiving Day (1990)

Who doesn't like a film about a dysfunctional family that involves Mary Tyler Moore?

9. National Lampoon's Thanksgiving Family Reunion (2003)

Sometimes the typical holiday vacation, is no vacation at all.

10. Dutch (1991)

Always been a favorite of mine. Gotta love Ed O'Neill!

Whatever your family tradition is, I hope it's lovely and amazing. So here's to the dreaded fruit cake, filled tummies and echoing laughter from everyone at the doll house.

gobble, gobble.

Found

These are some of my favorite lost, or found, photos from Found.com. Go there and explore, maybe even find some favorite pictures of your own.

Preface to my Novel

As the rain fell against her window, she opened her eyes slowly. Such a dreary morning to already be performing fellatio, but what else was there to do, besides her turn was cumming up next. Pun intended. She reached her hand up his soft warm body as he grunted with pleasure. She toyed with the thought of calling out of work and maybe just lay there all day fornicating and “being 16 again”. Irresponsible and naïve. Lord knows it had been forever and a day since she allowed herself that contentment.

‘She’ was Anne Driscoll. A 32 year old dancer. And the legitimate kind, not of the exotic sort. Ballroom, salsa, but mainly ballet. Although, to her everything was exotic & sexual. Paying the hot young cashier and slipping in a lingering glance, grinding against her male dance partner, Steve, even though she was certain of his homosexuality. It gave her fantasies to play with. Even now as she deep throats her occasional Tuesday-Thursday night mistake, better known as Damien, or as she refers to him with her friends; Jack Hammer. Mr. Hammer works as a valet in the neighboring building adjacent to her job. Their union began quickly and very spicy. He had been just the thrill she was looking for when she turned 30. He was 27 at the time and prime for picking. They never did much outside of the bedroom, but that’s exactly what Anne had wanted. Or was it?

Damien squeezed her hair in his hands and began to thrust eagerly, chasing the orgasm that was about to devour his entire body. His breathing got heavier as the intensity grew. Anne squeezed back in assurance to cum. And so he did. They had been off and on lovers for a little over two years, so it was completely acceptable for him to fill her mouth with his succulent semen. She enjoyed it thoroughly, almost as if it were her reward for working so hard for him. Anne also demonstrated acts of affection because she wanted it repaid exactly the way she gave it. Damien was very good at doing just so. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her hard. He turns her slowly on her back and kisses down toward her navel and beyond, she quietly thinks. Definitely calling out today.

Philly, wont you be thy Neighbor

Hey friends, fam, haters, lovers, guys and dolls. I've been cheating on you a bit with Philly Neighbor. See what I've been ranting about and check out other rants from the infamous gents & lady(ies). All Philly, all the time. I mean, afterall, what else is there?!