Hump Day

Mid June, mid year, mid week, mid-life crisis. (Well quarter-life actually)

I'm wondering when a wind will come and knock me into reality & out of cloudy confusion. I always seem to wait for something to push me instead of me pushing myself. Kinda always been a problem for me. ::sigh::

My thoughts are long, like the time is short. Heh heh, yep.

R&R in NJ

It's so crazy to think that this is Wildwood New Jersey in 1935.

Looking back on my mini vacation to North Wildwood this past weekend, I find it therapeutic. Not having to worry about work or grade school homework. Putting behind all the melodrama's of my life and what is my friend's lives. It actually took me a little bit to get use to the idea of relaxation. The not setting an alarm clock. The waking up at whatever time. The drinking at 11 a.m. The saliva smoking. hahah! And of course the teenagers that lived next door. (Thanks guys.)

It's nice to unwind and let your hair down. I mean, it isn't like I work my ass off or anything--I've got it pretty sweet at work. But to realllly do nothing, ahhh, not too shabby for Jenny.

I GaVe my Heart To Rock&Roll

lust

love

unity

Washed Up

So we're almost half way into the year and a lot of things are transpiring slightly different than I would have liked. When it rains, it pours is an understatement at this point.

I think it's especially cool how I can go back in my rolodex of entries & actually watch the progression of my spirits go from elation, to boredom & depression, all the way back around to happiness. All the calls and predictions I was dead on balls accurate with, to the ones I never even saw coming. If only.. If only I could predict what's next. Soon this very entry will become a part of what I'm talking about. How completely clueless and lost I feel, with no forewarning of what summer holds. The smiles, the tears, the scars.... they'll all be unforeseen.

I wish my cosmic perception was tuned a little finer. my frequency picks up on the little things that no one even cares to hear about, nor would they believe. But the little things are simply bigger things broken down into pieces to merely appear insignificant.

Rambling... such an old friend that I haven't had the pleasure of having near.

my question is; Once it's washed all away, will the remains remain the same?

Peas and Carrots

I find it really crazy how things can breeze in and out of your life. People come and go for different reasons. You have your time with them and they serve their purpose, then you go on to blossom in different ways. So to reunite with people that knew you before you even really knew yourself, is an honor to say the least.

Eleven years is a very long time. Well maybe not "very long", but it's pretty fucking long. As each one of my new-old friends told their stories of happiness & life I couldn't help but think of how amazingly familiar it all felt. Like a day hadn't passed and we were 14 all over again. It's really nice to feel that childlike rush of purity. As an adult it's not remembered enough, things are taken too seriously. So we proceeded to act half our age and drink half our body weight. Happy Hour turned into a slumber party within hours. Great laughs were exchanged and more will come.

Peas and carrots.

Soul-volving

Understanding that it's been a while, I'll save all the updates for a later post.

What you see here is an evolving soul. I'd like to think of myself as constantly evolving, as should every person. Without change, there is no progress.

Can you see the difference between the evolving souls? The change is slight, but it's there.

From this past December to the present time, I've transformed. Hell, at the beginning of this very entry I was different. The body and mind is always in constant upgrading.

Things have been well for yours truly. I realize I haven't been too consistent with my posts, but I promise I'm going to try hard. It was one of my many New Year's Resolutions. (Four months later...) Better late than never though right?

Lonesome December Snow

So as the snow fell from all different points, I watched in amazement of how gorgeous it all looked. Without my love to experience it with me I bundled up with just Arden the cat. A fire was going on downstairs and in the sunroom was just grey admiration. Silent and still. I thought about all the family joining together and eating tons of food and pastries. I made me yearn for more company, but alas, none was there for me. It was a night to stay in and be with the ones closest. Alcohol obviously played a big role in yesterdays & last nights events. If only I had planned ahead.