Someone once told me that love wasn't easy, and that over time it gradually becomes more bearable to stand when things go wrong. I agree with half of that statement.
I don't expect love to be easy, ever. It's the one thing in life that actually is worth fighting for, surrendering for... doing anything for. But I did expect it to get a little easier. You know, with trial and error comes progression, right? I suppose it's true for the most part, but I'll be godamned--if the shit isn't getting more complex by the relationship. Each time I think I'll be able to have potential problems mapped out, WHHAPP! Here's something that has a whole new dish of neurosis & grey areas. New adaptation. New adjustments. New sacrifices. New growth.
I think the scary part about being at this point in a relationship is the vulnerability factor. It's as if I'm thinking, "I'm getting too close now. If I were to turn and run--now is the time." So I'm scanning for any sign of trouble or warning. Automatic defense mechanism, I'm sure, because I absolutely adore this guy. Making compromises would be a HUGE consideration for him. There will be obstacles, of course. Isn't there always though? I get to this point where it all balances out because the person turns out to be worthwhile. Yet on the other hand, do I have the energy to try that hard anymore?
Who am I kidding? I am a fool and entirely a sucker for something sentimental. The hopeless romantic inside of
me.... I hate that motherfucker!
:)
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