So it's been a little bit since my last update. Just trying to get settled in over on the good ole' West Coast. I must say things are going tremendously well. I'm a little surprised at the reactions to things going tremendously well, from people back home. I don't wanna say I think they were hoping things would fall apart. Definitely don't wanna say or think that. I just feel as though a lot of folks are simply so damn cynical, that maybe they thought, 'How could it possibly work out?'
Maybe I've restored some hope in people. I'd like to think so. Hell, it's even restored a touch of faith in myself! I've always been a follow your heart kinda gal, and that takes some percentage of faith and hope, but never in a hundred years would I have imagined it could be this good. Or it would've been only that, just my imagination.
With that said, being away from my love has surely been an exercise of the heart. I've come back to Philly per request of my former employer. Two weeks of working and saying new hello's and new goodbye's. I must say I didn't expect to return home so quickly, but I'm happy that I have. I put out a few fires here and there, while being an ear to listen and a shoulder to literally cry on. Makes me feel useful. Not that I don't feel useful in my new life on "the best coast"*, I just feel like my absence has made people realize what a good commodity I am. Therefore, my latest return is greeted with anticipation and genuine affections.
I must say, it's certainly a mind trip. I haven't been gone for very long, and yet, I feel like a sort of visitor. Familiar-being and a stranger all at the same time. Almost as if I'm a ghost just floating around my old hang outs, snickering and fluttering about. Retelling the same stories, answering the same questions, flashing the same smile.
I know it may seem somewhat odd, but I find myself excited to go back... home?** My heart is there. My love is there. It's where I've decided to invest my future. Although, I have many many memories here and a bunch of people that could retain my attention, I'm afraid they've all lost to the mustache totin', D&D playin', Sigur Ros lovin', cartoon cell buyin' man that I've fallen head over feet for.
He's simply the greatest.
*says who?!
**It is where I lay my hat, afterall.
2 comments:
Great post... I remember feeling the same way. I lived in Brooklyn all my life, so moving to Central/Upstate NY was a mind fuck. When I went back to Brooklyn, I really did feel like a visitor. It was as if everything was still familiar, but the emotional connection was fading.
It takes balls to move from one place to another, especially from coast to coast. I've read some of your blog and it's pretty interesting. Reminds me of the kind of people I used to hang out with in high school and college. Good stuff!
Thank you so much!
It really was a mind fuck to return back to a place I thought I'd never lose an emotional connection with. And I guess, it isn't so much that I'll ever completely lose the connection, but yes, like you said it was definitely fading. My new life moved in as I shed the skin of the past.
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