A Piece of Sunshine Still Peaks Through

Three years have gone by. So funny how it feels like last week, yet still years later. I remember you still so vividly. You are.. were--no, you ARE my best friend. Going on without you being close by feels unusual. It's been tough, but I do believe it's made me a stronger person, losing you. I carry every conversation we ever had everywhere I go. Every sarcastic comment and snarky remark. Remember our basement nights? Both pre 21 and post. Such a group of clowns we were. P.S.--I never got this hat back... what up?!

I lost some trivial bet with you and instead of being a gentleman and getting your victory shot bought by me, you thought it better for me to bow like a peasant outside for everyone to see. HA! And get it documented no less. :) I was rarely ever wrong, so I guess the moment needed to be Memorexed. And I'm glad it was.  

Ahhh the Real World auditions.. How funny were we? I felt like we were a funnier version of Penn & Teller, bouncing material off of one another to make the other person look better. We were so random, weren't we?

If I couldn't be the "Speak No Evil" I wanted no parts of it.

This day we all woke up drunk and continued on drinking until the well was dry. A classic move for us. When the days were endless and the alcohol flowed from faucets. 

Striking a pose to "Vogue"! You were always my dance partner. No matter how goofy you looked. 

Electric blue button up and your snazzy hat. Such style! haha

What were we singing?? Who knows. When weren't we singing though?

The amount of missage is pretty tremendous. 

The spin!! The only people dancing in the place. We always got the party started. This was also the night you stole the microphone from the DJ and serenaded the entire bar. haha How Tom Cruise of you.

We both were supposed to jump in the pool in chilly ass February, but I left you high and dry. Or as you put it, "low and wet". !!! haha I still feel bad about it guy. ;)

For every memory we created, I shed just as many tears for you. Maybe I'll never get over how abrupt it was. I mean, it's not as if there were a timeline it would've made it any easier. But I would've liked to say good-bye. I suppose since I didn't have the chance to, maybe it's just 'see ya around' instead. Yeah. I like that much better. Until later dance part'na. 

 3.2.85-4.25.09

:) F-U-C-K :)

Ahahahahahaahah! I love the beauty of hanging on to old composition books and pieces of napkins with little scribbles on it. My "Say Something" anthology has me geeking to my playful poetry I wrote, once upon a time..

This definitely represents a percentage of my bitterness when I was a teenager. Glad to say I took heartbreak & angst head on. I ran straight through it and came out pretty clean on the other side. Well, for the most part. ;) heheh I'd like to believe the leftovers that stuck with me*, are working as good life tools. Anyways, here it is guys and dolls; circa 2002:

F  U  C  K

Fuck a poem.

Fuck rhyming words today.

Fuck these people that won't go away.

Yes, you.

Fuck everything I do.

Fuck everything I thought I loved,

fuck everything I knew.

Fuck whatever it is you want from me.

Fuck being in this world.

Fuck everything I wanted us to be.

Fuck being with this boy.

 Fuck all these memories.

Fuck all the past.

Fuck the beast on the couch.

Fuck you in your ass.

Fuck this fucking.

Fuck these words.

Fuck what you say.

And fuck what you heard.

Fuck the fake smiles.

Fuck uptight looks.

Fuck 'once in a while'.

And fuck these heavy school books.

Fuck the love that's trapped in a ball.

Fuck both love & lust too.

But fuck most of all,

the major fuck you!

*healthy cynicism, sarcasm and sleight of mind

Kitty Kat

Found my old "Say Something" notebook while searching for my running shoes this morning. I must say, this collection of poetry makes me feel like a knock-off version of a  perverted Dr. Seuess. Whatever-the-case, here's one of my favorites. Circa 2001

******************************************

*********************************

*****************

********

****

**

*

Oooh, this little girl is dying to be pet.

This little kitty is completely soaking wet.

She's a good girl, well behaved and all.

Sometimes she gets naughty when the big dog calls.

You can give her kisses.

She loves the french ones.

Her bad side takes over and just runs.

Stick her up and watch how she moves.

All around, purring like, "This is whose?"

You can come around, she loves toying with balls.

And never has a problem coming when she's called.

The 4/20 Bunny Has Arrived

Happy 4/20 everyone! Smokers unite everywhere. Pull out your favorite bong, bowl, papers or blunts and spark up thy neighbor. "A friend with weed, is a friend indeed!" Fer tru'.

If reggie is a daily thing for you, today should be the day for you to splurge on some exotic. Me, personally, will be indulging on some Blueberry Dream... mmm-mm-mmmmm! am I hungry for that. I hope all smokers everywhere have some good bud, good friends and good conversations to spend their day/evening/night with. Only thing I hope for, is to be just as smiley and happy as the people in the picture above.

"Inhale smoke, exhale stress..."

'Tis all.

Spring How I Heart Thee

 So there are many things that make me burst with excitement, many things that make me smile from ear to ear. All of different varieties too. Springtime being a very close favorite, there's undoubtably going to be shrills of hope and expectations. Spring just signifies the regrowth and renewed possibility of things to come. Winters in Philly can become contagiously bitter. One can easily lose themselves in the seasonal depression that takes over right after Halloween and flows straight into the New Year. So once Spring (my birthday) brings in its golden awe, I'm scratching to get through the door. "Let me outta this colorless melancholy!", my soul screams.

Instead of feeling like a glum introverted Death Cab For Cutie song, nowadays I'm more of a capricious, upbeat Smashing Pumpkins jig. Still with much depth and mysticism, yet positively content. You know, when the wind picks up and sort of reminds you thrice why you're breathing in the first place? Yeah. Like that. It's such an astonishing feeling to feel rebirthed. And not in the "religious/I'm holier than thou" sort of  rebirth. More of the "shedding of skin and the past" sort of rebirth. A second chance at greatness sort of rebirth. As many times a "second chance" can go 'round and still count as two. :)

But let's hoist to this lovely season. The season of hope and promise and possibilities. The season that gives you wonder of the summer. The season that lifts you from such a dank existence. The season that's perfectly in balance with winter and summer. The season that has the best of both worlds. The season that flourishes with creative and passionate twitterpation*. The season... that is currently enrapturing you at this very second. Breathe it in. Deeply into your core. Swallow. Then exhale.

Spring into your being now.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.
--Henry David Thoreau

*"Bambi" reference, see YouTube